Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I Have New Pariahs

So the TABC is baffled as to why Texans are upset that they're sending undercover agents into bars to arrest people for being drunk. OK, let's break this down.
  • Undercover agents
  • In bars
  • To arrest people
  • For being drunk
This may be what folks are upset about. You send the secret police to arrest people in bars to arrest them for something harmless. We all understand that if you're being drunk and disorderly in your neighbor's front yard, you might just spend a night in the pokey. We also understand that if you get shitfaced in a snooty restaurant, they're gonna call the cops. Because those are inappropriate places to be lit up like a christmas tree. If you're drunk behind the wheel of a car, you're obviously going to find yourself at the business end of a gavel, and deservedly so.

If, however, you are in a bar, you don't expect the guy in the hawaiian shirt on the barstool next to you to call in the goon squad and have you thrown in the clink. It's just against the social contract. They defend these arrests by saying that 'that's one less drunk driver'. However, 10% of recent arrests in Irving were of hotel guests in the hotel bar where they were staying. This is the SAFEST form of drinking. Even drinking at home is less safe, since you might be tempted to go get more beer if you run out, or you might want to make that midnight run to Taco Cabana.

These hotel patrons were where at a source of liquor. They were at a source of food. They were going nowhere.

I feel the need to repeat my call for the TABC to be disbanded, and for all current employees thereof to be prohibited from public employment or recourse to public funds in the State of Texas.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Texas defines TABC thusly:
TABC (TEE ay bee see) n. A bunch of mindless jerks who will be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

1 comment:

SerenitySprings said...

I just have one thing to say:

Fuck the TABC.

That is all.